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Post by Bob_12 on Dec 16, 2005 6:00:04 GMT -5
Fred, where do babies come from? My parents said they come from some thing called a "vagina" or "vuhgeinuh" or something like that. I dont know if I believe them.
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Post by Frederic Bourgault-Christie on Dec 16, 2005 17:46:51 GMT -5
Kyle:
First, the stork flies in on a magical carpet of pink clouds and aerosolized whiskey and Schnapps. He mounts the human female and croons Barry White. After three to thirty minutes, a discharge of liquids occurs.
But this is only the beginning. For those small fragments of drunken life must find a egg, scramble it, and engage in a cookoff. The winner is crowned Miss Pretty and begins to grow inside the woman!
Now, at this point, the baby is completely, 100% human. That's why the baby sticks its head out of the mother's stomach and urges her to kill. This is an excellent point to inflict discipline.
Eventually, the child grows tired of the stomach and rides down the mother's distended vergina as a cute little thing.
Anyone who tells you the contrary is part of the Jewish conspiracy to ruin Christmas.
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Post by Bob_12 on Dec 18, 2005 3:58:47 GMT -5
I hate that conspiracy! Christmas is the one true Lord of all greed causing capitalist comsumption based holidays!
And thank you for answering that question. Its really been bugging me for ages, and no one could give me a satisfying answer. They told me some shit about love, but a cookoff seems way more plausible.
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Post by Datamancer on Dec 18, 2005 13:18:13 GMT -5
"That is very wrong, cling to your pathetic fable of fluid exchange!"
-Gost of christmas past (ATHF)
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johndamnit
Superhuman
Why am I a penguin?
Posts: 52
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Post by johndamnit on Dec 19, 2005 2:21:55 GMT -5
"That is very wrong, cling to your pathetic fable of fluid exchange!" -Gost of christmas past (ATHF) Can you make the walls bleed? |
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Post by laughingman on Dec 19, 2005 9:59:54 GMT -5
You know the same question hit me yesterday. I had just finished reading Kant`s Critique of Pure Reason, when suddenly it struck me: `Shit! People get made somehow!`. But I coulnt manage to find a plausable explenation for how come there are so many friggin humans. Now apparantly it seems were totally dependent on Storks! I call on everyone who reads this post to help find a way to liberate mankind from the evil stork procreational monopoly. We need to find our own ways of doing things without dependency on birds! RISE MY BRETHEREN, WE MUST DEFEAT THE OPPRESSIVE ARIAL CREATURES, WE MUST TAKE CONTROLL OF OUR OWN DESTENIES!!!
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Post by Frederic Bourgault-Christie on Dec 19, 2005 16:48:33 GMT -5
Call me stupid, but... are you advocating suicide, Warren?! ARE YOU SAYING WE SHOULD DESTROY THE ONLY SOURCE OF HUMANITY?! OH GOD, WHY! WHY....!!!
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Post by kazuzic on Jan 5, 2006 11:09:44 GMT -5
No, I think he's saying we should kill a bunch of storks, have a cookoff (Mmm, Stork-Kabobs), then figure out some method of self-procreation... Like cloning.
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Post by Frederic Bourgault-Christie on Jan 5, 2006 14:16:45 GMT -5
Cloning is an invention of the liberal gay conspiracy.
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Post by halfhero on Jan 5, 2006 20:50:06 GMT -5
actually, i invented cloning
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Post by Frederic Bourgault-Christie on Jan 5, 2006 21:41:16 GMT -5
And you are part of the liberal Jew gay conspiracy.
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Post by Datamancer on Jan 7, 2006 21:29:09 GMT -5
Dude cloning is a figment of the liberal gay Jews imaginations. Set up by captain planet and is band of mullet loving thieves.
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Post by Ominai on Jan 8, 2006 2:38:25 GMT -5
Thats why last time that bastard came knocking on my door about the nuclear waste I'm hiding in barrels burried in my back yard I replied with a 10 guage smile. We republicans love the blood of the gay liberals, the closest thing to modern art that we will ever accept is splatters of said liquid on a wall.
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Post by Frederic Bourgault-Christie on Jan 8, 2006 3:04:27 GMT -5
Nuclear waste reverses entropy and makes the stars burn in the night sky. THEY WANT TO EXTINGUISH THE NIGHT SKY!
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Post by laughingman on Jan 8, 2006 9:46:10 GMT -5
Well at least it might make the Aleians shut up for five goddam seconds. They just cant leave Rex alone, always sucking him and Barbra into their spaceship for the tests. And maby the abominable snowman will finally leave my backyard too.
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Post by Frederic Bourgault-Christie on Jan 8, 2006 15:25:04 GMT -5
Good, good points, I'm afraid. Rebuttal, anyone? We cannot let liberals be right.
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Post by Datamancer on Jan 9, 2006 10:49:06 GMT -5
Liberal right wing baby punching tree touching sex children..
Hehehheh, fred the ads on the site are all anti lib
0..
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Post by Frederic Bourgault-Christie on Jan 9, 2006 14:53:16 GMT -5
Well, that's a) because ads tend to lean conservative anyways and b) the ads are generated from the dialogue on the page. Another proboards cite I go to, thecatharsis.proboards30.com , is almost exclusively liberal and left links, except when we talk about God. Then it becomes a smattering of atheist and Christian links. The front page mostly mentions Dungeons and Dragons (I'm surprised they didn't do a London vacation!) And so on. |
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Post by Datamancer on May 11, 2006 11:16:03 GMT -5
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Post by Frederic Bourgault-Christie on May 11, 2006 11:26:42 GMT -5
So, as the name indicates, that is a bestiality board. Don't go there.
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Post by zeebedee on Oct 18, 2006 14:23:41 GMT -5
I wonder what kinds of links they have THERE?
[shadow=red,left,300]epicly, I ask a question...[/shadow]
As we've discussed before, Fred, the penis has many alternate uses other than to be used for urination and sex. What are some additional-not necessarily practical-uses for the Vagina? Catchers mitt?
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Post by Frederic Bourgault-Christie on Oct 20, 2006 19:54:51 GMT -5
What alternate uses? A pogo stick that causes exruciating pain? A doorjam that causes excruciating pain?
The vagina can be used as:
1) A sonic resonator and acoustics chamber on par with the greatest sound equipment.
2) A tantalizing pencil cubby.
3) Really musky smelling perfume.
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Post by Black Fox on Oct 20, 2006 21:55:47 GMT -5
fred...where did i come from...my mommy said they found me on a street corner with hookers snorting crahk or kraink or something of the like, and im really confused. cause i dont think i came from a happy cookoff, and i think i have this weird tattoo on my ass in the shape of supermans insignia
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Post by Frederic Bourgault-Christie on Oct 21, 2006 5:05:07 GMT -5
Colin, I have bad news. You were spontaneously congealed from masses of semen at a Superman fairstival in Providence. Sorry, bro.
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Post by Black Fox on Oct 21, 2006 9:51:48 GMT -5
OH SNAP!
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Post by zeebedee on Oct 22, 2006 12:02:58 GMT -5
At least it wasn't at the "Cry-Mr-A-River-Cuz-I-Can't-Do-Shit" Robin Convention.
I would think though, that with supermans enhanced strength in all arenas and his inability to contol the strength of his ejaculation that he must have killed his share of "Ho-bags" With a shotgun round of man sperm.
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Post by Frederic Bourgault-Christie on Nov 19, 2006 5:32:39 GMT -5
...Robin kicks ass. Never speak poorly of Robin again. Seriously, putting aside Teen Titans, there was this AWESOME trailer (just trailer, unfortunately) made by this dude for $18,000 (like 1/10th the normal cost) called Grayson. Unfortunately, DC are vaginas and don't like to produce good movies even when the concept is genius. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grayson_%28film%29Even if "shotgun sperm" weren't part of his powers, I'm sure DC's writers would retcon them in to make him even more of a patriarchal supersymbol. [HARHARHARHAR I MADE A 'SUPERMAN HAS TWO MANY POWERS JOKE' FTW!] |
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